Breaking Up With Musicians: The Worst Heartbreak

So, Flying Lotus made some… Remarks that every survivor of sexual assault, harassment and rape has heard, be it in passing or in their face.

“They lied.”

Flying Lotus has been a big part of my musical express for the past decade.  The album You’re Dead has a lot of significance on how we both had lost someone; his was a friend, mine was my younger self.  I’ve smoked plenty of bowls to his joints, came down from acid trips with him to calm me down.  His music has seen me naked, has touched me in places that I didn’t even know would make feel so euphoric.

“They lied.”

Lying about being sexual assaulted, harassed and raped is sick shit. To lie about the feeling of having your person attacked from unwanted advances when you’re just trying to go about your fucking day, trying to enjoy moments with your family but that one cousin or uncle keeps looking at you like you two AREN’T related, trying to tell a guy friend “no, I don’t want this”, is sick.

I never thought I’d have to take You’re Dead so literally.

When a musical favorite says or does something, you feel validated.  As a survivor, I feel horrible and gaslit.  For someone who has been with me during my darkest times, even if it’s in passing, hurts.  Someone I trusted hurt me and I can’t listen to him anymore.

One thought on “Breaking Up With Musicians: The Worst Heartbreak

  1. Aww. Im sorry. I feel this. Trusting artist and having your heart broken because they are shitty is a weird grief.

    I have no tolerance for issues around sexual assault because its such a trigger.
    But for the times that the music saved you accept it. And know it had its place. Maybe itll lighten the load.
    I loved your pun about smoking bowls to his joints. Lol.
    And the music seeing you naked, so good. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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