You Are No Different and You Are Failing Because Of It

Devonte, Markis, Jeremiah, Abigail, Hanna, and Sierra are 6 Black children.  3 are missing and 3 are dead.  They were abused and murdered by their white adoptive parents.

However, let it be known that adult black male who was gunned down by the police was trash in 2018.  Let’s remind every oppressed person under men, women, children, transfolk, that men are dangerous.  Let’s keep reopening the wounds that men inflict on us to say that “hey, men are dangerous, so we shouldn’t march about them”.

While the search for 6 black children’s bodies goes almost unheard of,  cis women continue to reopen the trauma that is men to prove a point; they don’t need to march for men.

Good for fucking you.

Good on you for re-traumatizing the people you oppress as well, cis women.  Your hatred of men is valid and heard, but fuck you for making this about men again.

Every time a Black child ends up in harm’s way at the same time an adult black man dies, there is always a group of women loudly proclaiming they don’t have to march for black men.

“Every time a black man is killed and Black woman rejoices, how come everyone has words for that, but no one has words for the men who rejoice when women are killed?” they selfishly ask, not realizing they are doing the exact same thing.  They have no problems putting on their best blonde Becky wig and digging for tweets to prove that a black man was a sack of shit, to prove his unworthiness like Susan the next town down would do to her.  After all,  the Black woman must have done something for her womanhood to not save her.

The toxic energy put into paragraph after paragraph of “I ain’t marching for these niggas!” for cis hetero Black men always turns into “I didn’t know!  I thought he was different!” when a supposed queer Black man turns out to be a snake.  How dare you act shocked and surprised when a man is being untrustworthy when not even 2 weeks ago you said you weren’t marching for them?  Cis black women talk all the time about how white women and their relationship with white men, but they really need to examine how their own relationship with black men.

“They always expect black women to be the bigger person!”

Personally, I expect black women to put the energy to talk about black children and uplifting and protecting them like they do in talking to and about black men.  There will be times, where yes, you will need to talk about the toxicity about black men because of a triggering moment but to keep addressing them when they don’t and won’t listen to you and do better?  Tuh.  And you know it’s like talking to a wall?  Over it.  Y’all need to leave them niggas alone.

The hope for black men to do better won’t come until you leave them alone.  Yes, they will prowl outside the home that is your body and at that point, do whatever you need to do make sure you survive, kill them if you have to.  But on the internet where the internet is vast and unending?  Leave them alone.  You are in the safest space available, it’s okay to not talk about them here.  It’s okay to turn off the switch to be hyper-aware of men here.  You don’t need them in your spaces here, it’s okay.

While Devonte, Markis, Jeremiah, Abigail, Hanna, and Sierra aren’t collectively worth more than an animal’s life, black women are re-traumatizing themselves by talking about men doing what they have been socialized to women since the start of patriarchy.

“I am here for black women, black children and black LGBTQ people!”

Then stop talking about men.  Every time a black adult male is killed, who has a 98.6% of being trash, is that trash, you keep talking about him.  You keep addressing the people, the people who you proclaim to not owe shit, and telling them your qualms, knowing they won’t listen.  Leave them alone.  Not only are you bullshitting, it’s that same shit men do when y’all when their collective gets called out.

As a queer black person, I am tired of cis black women ignoring the two children that were the reason Black Lives Matter started and then getting mad when the anger they have for adult black men, making them the face of Black Lives Matter protests, regardless of where it happens.  If you don’t want to march for adult men, that is fine, no one is making you do that.  To argue, whine and pout when an adult black man is unjustly killed, to make “he ain’t shit” posts while using their names, their hashtags in your posts is just bringing attention to the other ain’t shit niggas that their socialized view of women is still right and that you deserve it.

We know they ain’t shit, they know that ain’t shit and they are never going to change.  Every day, we post links of men killing black women, trans folk, and children and there’s always a worm that pokes his ugly head from the dirt to say “not all men”.

You aren’t here my queer siblings, the black children, the black disabled folk, the most marginalized black folk like y’all claim.  Just admit you’re only here for black women, just like black men are for black men and keep marching for black women and only them.  That is your right.

But do not ever in your life come for queer folks who won’t march for you.

Say their names, too.

Christa Leigh Steele-Knudslien

Viccky Gutierrez

Tonya Harvey

Celine Walker

Phylicia Mitchell

Zakaria Fry

Amia Tyrae Berryman

Naomi Hersi

Aniya Day-Garrett 

The Hart Siblings

Wynter Parker


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