I write to you in high spirits while still mourning.
Ma’Khia Bryant’s murder is heavy on our hearts and I just want to tell you something.
I am so sorry that Black Girlhood© forced us to grow up faster than our non-Black peers. To be 10 and seen as 18 scarred us in ways that the other departments of Girlhood© will never understand, no matter how many times they decide to burst into that small ass office they decided to give us. I’m also sorry that as soon as we reached Proper Womanhood™, we are seen as men for some reason.
I am so sorry that Black Girlhood© doesn’t allow us the grace to girls in our own right. Always pitted against each other and the other Girlhood© departments for the favor of some chucklefuck men who run Girlhood™ for an extra lipstick a week and a random raffle for a fucking tit job.
I am so sorry to the new employees of Black Girlhood© that are now dealing with the extra paperwork that is Black Girlhood© to prove that you are somehow “worthy” enough to wear the title of Girl™. Some of The Girls™ that have been working there from birth are gossiping hens half the time; stay away from them, they are not safe, and half the reason why you have that extra paperwork in the first place.
I am so sorry that Black Girlhood© can’t have a god damn pizza party to honor us always gets ruined by the other Girls™ at Girlhood©.
I am so proud of you for relishing in the not-so-secret secret pact that is Black Girlhood©. To demand softness and respect while the world sees Black Girlhood© as something to “humble” and dilute is the worst superpower the world forces onto us. Our existence at Black Girlhood© shouldn’t depend on us following the White Supremacy codex of Femininity*©. I hope Ms. Martha hid the Black Girl Magic grimoire before her passing.
I am so proud of you for deciding to say “fuck this fucking dress code” and came to work in your neon wig and long, thick lashes. To see Karen write you up and then to show up in that same dress you wore two weeks ago that got you reprimanded pissed me off. Remember when she was ranting and raving about her lunch getting stolen for a month but couldn’t prove it? That was me and I hope someone kept up the tradition of fucking with her food.
I am so proud of you for being you, for showing me that my twenty-odd years at Black Girlhood© was still the best shift of my life. It wasn’t for me after all, but I still miss you all so much. Even after my resignation and just staying out of the gender industry altogether, I still miss the comradery and the laughter and the hugs that only we can give and fully understand.
I hope to see you soon when I sneak in for the free before 11 “Girls™ Night” employee party. I always got a kick out of seeing Stern Susan getting knocked in the head during drunken dodgeball.
Be intentional with your rest and mourning these next few weeks. You are allowed to do those as you please, never forget that.
As we remember Ma’Kiah, save space for Tyisha Miller, Aiyana Jones, and Darnesha Harris as well, as their lives were taken by the state, too.
Be sure to visit that Little Black Girl™ you used to be and tell her the thing I’m about to tell you:
I love you.
-Your Former Black Girl™ Co-Worker