Even If I Was, Y’All Don’t Pay Enough To Help Heal!

My future ex-baby’s-guardian once said “some of y’all need to post on your blogs with some of your hot takes so you can get it all out”, so here I go. (I hope they’re also proud of me for condensing what they said severely.)

A lot of y’all don’t know the difference between a healer and a healing person. And some of y’all out of THAT y’all don’t wanna do the work healers give you and get mad when you’re stuck!

I am a healing person. I’m always thinking about random shit and then I have my daily existential crisis, forget to eat, scroll through that horrid clock app while still thinking about why the fuck taxpayers are mad about the people who qualified (I peeped how they like to use that word for my next point) for the extra ~$600 a week with their stimulus check(s) but will literally be deep throating the balls of landlords who are raising rent several hundred dollars on places that shouldn’t even be $800 a month, let alone $1,200? Same people who think they’re in line to fly the SS Dick Rider that Jeff Bezos admitted to using Amazon employee mon– I’m getting off-topic.

I’m a healing person and I’m always thinking about ways I can heal my inner child that exists outside of the avenue of therapy, and that is seeing a qualified specialist.

I’ve “been” to therapy and my doctors have said I’m “self-aware”, whatever the fuck THAT means. Like, of COURSE, I have to BE me, I hope I’m aware of what the fuck I’m doing.

But what people refuse to tell you about the work of therapy is that it’s just more than your scheduled appointment.

It is very nice to have someone who knows what they’re talking about to help diagnose you, but the real work of therapy comes from working on your sense of self by learning how to set boundaries so that you can heal the inner child that still sits heavy on your stomach.

As a healing person, it is exhausting to figure out the knots of childhood trauma, racism, sexism, transphobia, and all the other fucked up intersections I sit at by myself. Through the internet and listening to people who have had similar experiences as I did all over the world, I was able to admit that I, at least, needed help. And that’s always the first step, right?

It’s also exhausting that people think that because I’m healing, I’m a healer because obviously, I must have my shit together kinda!

I’m a helpful person. Helpful people are not healers.

And because of this, I’ve been taken advantage of by people I considered close.

The way y’all treat actual healers is also bogus, too! I don’t mean people in healthcare. I mean the wizards, witches, warlocks, shamans, elders and other spiritual folk who y’all go to and then get mad when the shit they tell you is the truth and not what you wanna hear. Leave that man’s wife alone; go take care of your kids before they leave you behind; stop being a bigot; live in your damn truth, it’s okay to be queer in 2021 and if your people won’t support you, I fucking will. And let’s go back to the healers in healthcare for just a second.

WEAR A MASK. 629,913 is way too many dead. The population of Las Vegas, NV is 634,773. How can the city of sin run with only 4,860 people catering to the countries gambling addicts?


Healing people and healers are two separate beings most times. Helpful healing people are not healers. Healers may be helpful, maybe healing also, but they are always offering a service. Healing people would be equivalent to someone posting those papers on telephone poles that say “u r worthy” and then you take a piece of the paper to stick in your wallet. You wouldn’t open up to the piece of paper, but you would be reminded that you are indeed worthy and you can keep going. Because half the time, those pieces of paper we put up are reminders for ourselves and it feels good to see the piece of paper torn to shreds.

Grounding: Go outside and get some sun. Take a drive, go for a walk, sit in the grass.

Journaling: Write it out with actual pen and paper or have a blog that is just for personal use.

Mindfulness: Sit with your feelings and address them. Recognizing when things feel good just as much as you know when things are bad. Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting down, by the way.

Community: Zoom call with your friends. Say hello to someone you never talked to on your friend list. Shop locally.

The work of therapy was never just laying on the couch and essentially telling this cold person with glasses a “Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me” trauma story and this person with glasses going “mm, yes, bi-polar 3D” and they shove pills in your mouth. Therapy is a plan on how to reparent. Therapy is doing the work of regulating our emotions and responses when we are hurt. Therapy is realizing shit doesn’t have to be this way. Therapy is shifting the thoughts from bad to a soft “eh”.

Therapy is work. Healers can give you the guidelines and the healing can leave a post-it note on your mirror but only you can figure what you need in your journey. The only person who can heal you is you.

Good luck.

You got this.

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